terajk: (chrona & ragnarok)
[personal profile] terajk
I have to write about things in public before I write them especially when my mother is no help which is why I am horrible at anonymous fic exchanges.

Or: I am lost in the Soul Eater disability meta.

I need to put things into words--lots and lots of words. I also hone in on small details and put them together. It's easy for me to write an essay with tons of examples but an easily-lost main point. Or I get bogged down in wanting to talk about All the Things, or in wanting to talk about very specific, tiny things.

Like, it's suddenly become Very Important for the Soul Eater thing that while Shinigami-sama is called "absolute order" and is one of the Great Old Ones "whose existence drives men to madness," his son is specifically associated with "the Madness of Order." But this distinction doesn't really add much to my argument and could get Jossed at any time. (The manga is still ongoing.)

But. It's Very Important, because I think it's really cool that the mangaka plays with the Lovecraftian idea of a physical embodiment of madness in the universe by taking the disability seriously. But this focus on specific words thing is just...no. And is hilarious because I am reading this in translation.

And THEN I have 2,000 words about Death the Kid when there is disability EVERYWHERE. On the one hand, there are "madness wavelengths" that the Big Bad and other villains emit which harm everybody in a very Lovecraftian way while on the other there are characters with mental illnesses who do awesome things. (Some of them are more morally ambiguous than others, but still.)

And then there's the body horror! Chrona has "black blood" that hardens into sharp needles and a weapon that's part of hir body that rips out of hir back--and, at first, has lots of control over hir. Even when Chrona uses Ragnarok as a sword early on, Ragnarok seems to be wielding hir rather than the other way around. Sie doesn't know how to deal with most people and is afraid of new things. However, sie will say "My blood is black" --it frightens people, and is a way for Chrona to use hir own body as power. (Since Chrona is always afraid, fear is the only power sie knows.) Also, Chrona is a romanization of Kurona (from kuro, "black"), so the black blood really is Chrona's identity. (It's unfortunate that I first ran into the "Chrona" romanization, since it made me think of "time.")

And then there's the Big Bad, and I don't even know what to think of Stein.

Internets, I am lost and my brain is not cooperating. (Stop thinking of pointless things, brain!)
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