Porn Battle is starting soon and this is the best thing I've written in a month. Crap.

[terajk]

Title: With Apologies to Terry Pratchett
Fandoms: Soul Eater/Final Destination series
Characters, Shinigami-sama, Death the Kid, Final Destination!Death (who I gave a name, more or less)
Word count: 288
Summary: "Something's...happened, Father."
Warning: Flippant attitudes about violent death 

Death by Improbable and Often Ludicrous Accidents has a lot of names--her favorite, she told him once, is Oh Shi-!--but when Kid calls and Shinigami-sama sees her sitting at a table playing with wooden alphabet blocks and looking like a young Shibusen student, he says, “Hello, son! Are you having fun with Pythagora-san?”

The boy looks deadly serious, as usual. “Something’s...happened, Father.”

Pythagora’s blocks spell SPOILED BRAT, and aren’t even backwards in the mirror. She scoffs, adjusts her spectacles. “If by ‘something’s happened’ you mean ‘Daddy, I did something incredibly rude and stupid; fix it because I’m too rich to suffer the consequences of my actions,’” she says, “then yes.” A smile plays at the corner of her mouth. (Her reputation for being a sore loser is undeserved.)

Kid doesn’t appear to know that. “This is ridiculous. Just blow up the overpass they’re all driving on right now.”

“What, you think I can just make anything explode whenever I want? Miracles take work.”

“A freak accident is not a miracle,” says Kid. Shinigami-sama has never been so embarrassed in his life.

Luckily, Pythagora stops this trainwreck.“ I can’t kill them all at once now, anyway. It’s against the rules.” The smile is bigger now.

“Your rules are made-up bullshit!” Kid shouts.

“Not all of them.”

“Uh, do I want to know what happened?” Shinigami-sama asks.

“Do you want the chart?” Pythagora tells him.

Kid lifts his chin. “I kept a football stadium from collapsing, Father.”

“And how many people were--?”

“27,591,” says Pythagora.

“Oh, dear,” Shinigami-sama says.

Pythagora stands up, pushes her chair in. “I’ll get the chart. Which you’ll have to do backwards and upside-down, boy.”