The inside of my head is always like this
Jul. 17th, 2012 11:21 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
terajkSometimes my love of characters with disabilities is embarrassing--but only slightly.
Me: Goddammit.
Azula: *eyebrow-raise*
Me: Okay, I want to play with you some more, but you're a terrible person.
Azula: And? You attach to movie serial killers who don't even have lines.
Me: Oh, honey, I can attach to *diseases* as long as they get rid of everybody else who I can't stand. It's like they perform a service. But I *liked* everybody you did horrible shit to. (Seriously, slasher movie, why are you making me tolerate these -ist, whiny assholes for like 20 damn minutes? (Warning: link goes to TVTropes) It's like you're trying to make them sympathetic when they're totally not.)
Azula: *snerk*
Me: But see, you have this obsession with power but you totally do NOT understand how power works. Er, actually, you don't understand how *people* work, and it leads to you doing things like thinking you're better than Long Feng because...he had to rise to power and you were born into it? Which is fascinatingly stupid of you.
And also there was that thing where you didn't see anything wrong with Zhao trying to KILL THE FUCKING MOON, even though you live in an island nation and would have been among the first to die when the tidal waves hit. Seriously, and you're supposed to be some kind of genius? WTF? (Honestly. Sometimes I think of writing an AU where you're like: "Father, WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU HAVE A DEATH WISH isn't destroying the moon kind of stupid?" and your father is like: "BANISHED!")
Azula: That was...my father's fault. (I can blame him for things, right?) And it's nowhere near as stupid as having Zuko put me on some uninhabited island with a few servants.
Me: (Okay, but you didn't even understand that tides actually DO control ships, even though that speech is what made me notice you, and your father wasn't even there.) Look, I'm sorry, okay? But that was really early on and how else am I supposed to interpret put on an island? There is nothing in your universe that would lead to the existence of mental institutions--American missionaries least of all. But even if I did put you in a mental institution (or prison), I would have to break you out to have any fun with you, and, eh, I'm too lazy.
Azula: Is that what you're calling it? That defect of yours is rather bizarre. I'm surprised you can find the bathroom.
Me: That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me. I have many defects.
Azula: Madwoman's babble. *dismissive handwave* So does this mean that I will actually get to do things instead of just talk to people I hate?
Me: Uh. Well, first, we have to establish some rules. Like, no killing people. Or you end up in prison forever.
Azula: Eh, I don't feel like killing Zuko anyway. (Don't tell him, please.) I guess I can tolerate his stupid friends, especially becauseabandonment! prison is really boring and also contains my abusive father. I'm not feeling a redemption arc, though.
Me: Oh, honey, I'm too Catholic for that. ("Redemption" means something very specific to me--something requiring remorse.) But maybe you can stop being a designated villain?
Azula:Anything to keep from being abandoned Taking over the world isn't all scaring people and showing off your power, and is actually full of things that are boring and which I don't have the cognitive ability to do consistently, if at all. I guess Zuko can handle that crap. I wish there was something that only involves scaring people and showing off how powerful you are.
Me: Enforcing disability access laws! You can be all: "This doorway isn't regulation" and "I told you to put ramps here" *deathglare* and if people don't do it, you can do horrible things to them like have them arrested. You'd be very good at it, I think.
Azula: I'll think about it. Anything else?
Me: Well, your relationship with Zuko is interesting, but since you're such a horrible person, maybe I can put you with someone you don't have a messy, abusive history with? Someone who isn't a constant reminder of your almost retroactive failure?
Azula: Thank you for that, idiot.
Me: Someone like...Toph? Just to see what would happen, you understand.
Azula: I thought we said no redemption arcs.
Me: AHAHAHAHA. Please. Toph killed more people in canon than you did. By suffocating them. And anyway, she'd trigger you all to hell. Without, you know, really seriously triggering you, like, say, Katara.
Azula: Can I trigger her back?
Me:Oh HELL YES I'm counting on it! You can corrupt her, too, if you like.
Azula: Well, then. I'm glad we had this talk.
Me: Indeed.
Me: Goddammit.
Azula: *eyebrow-raise*
Me: Okay, I want to play with you some more, but you're a terrible person.
Azula: And? You attach to movie serial killers who don't even have lines.
Me: Oh, honey, I can attach to *diseases* as long as they get rid of everybody else who I can't stand. It's like they perform a service. But I *liked* everybody you did horrible shit to. (Seriously, slasher movie, why are you making me tolerate these -ist, whiny assholes for like 20 damn minutes? (Warning: link goes to TVTropes) It's like you're trying to make them sympathetic when they're totally not.)
Azula: *snerk*
Me: But see, you have this obsession with power but you totally do NOT understand how power works. Er, actually, you don't understand how *people* work, and it leads to you doing things like thinking you're better than Long Feng because...he had to rise to power and you were born into it? Which is fascinatingly stupid of you.
And also there was that thing where you didn't see anything wrong with Zhao trying to KILL THE FUCKING MOON, even though you live in an island nation and would have been among the first to die when the tidal waves hit. Seriously, and you're supposed to be some kind of genius? WTF? (Honestly. Sometimes I think of writing an AU where you're like: "Father,
Azula: That was...my father's fault. (I can blame him for things, right?) And it's nowhere near as stupid as having Zuko put me on some uninhabited island with a few servants.
Me: (Okay, but you didn't even understand that tides actually DO control ships, even though that speech is what made me notice you, and your father wasn't even there.) Look, I'm sorry, okay? But that was really early on and how else am I supposed to interpret put on an island? There is nothing in your universe that would lead to the existence of mental institutions--American missionaries least of all. But even if I did put you in a mental institution (or prison), I would have to break you out to have any fun with you, and, eh, I'm too lazy.
Azula: Is that what you're calling it? That defect of yours is rather bizarre. I'm surprised you can find the bathroom.
Me: That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me. I have many defects.
Azula: Madwoman's babble. *dismissive handwave* So does this mean that I will actually get to do things instead of just talk to people I hate?
Me: Uh. Well, first, we have to establish some rules. Like, no killing people. Or you end up in prison forever.
Azula: Eh, I don't feel like killing Zuko anyway. (Don't tell him, please.) I guess I can tolerate his stupid friends, especially because
Me: Oh, honey, I'm too Catholic for that. ("Redemption" means something very specific to me--something requiring remorse.) But maybe you can stop being a designated villain?
Azula:
Me: Enforcing disability access laws! You can be all: "This doorway isn't regulation" and "I told you to put ramps here" *deathglare* and if people don't do it, you can do horrible things to them like have them arrested. You'd be very good at it, I think.
Azula: I'll think about it. Anything else?
Me: Well, your relationship with Zuko is interesting, but since you're such a horrible person, maybe I can put you with someone you don't have a messy, abusive history with? Someone who isn't a constant reminder of your almost retroactive failure?
Azula: Thank you for that, idiot.
Me: Someone like...Toph? Just to see what would happen, you understand.
Azula: I thought we said no redemption arcs.
Me: AHAHAHAHA. Please. Toph killed more people in canon than you did. By suffocating them. And anyway, she'd trigger you all to hell. Without, you know, really seriously triggering you, like, say, Katara.
Azula: Can I trigger her back?
Me:
Azula: Well, then. I'm glad we had this talk.
Me: Indeed.
