...And that's how I'd write Chucky
Jul. 31st, 2013 02:52 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
terajkRemember the time I spent, like, 12 hours pondering the character depth of a doll that kills people?
Me: Man, if I could write a jailbreak I'd use that power to FIX ANDY BARCLAY'S LIFE BECAUSE GODDAMN.
Me: How to write Chucky, though? *ponders*
Me: Well, his love of killing and abject terror of dying/eternal punishment drive, like, all his stupid-ass decisions. Which really shouldn't have taken me half my life to figure out, since Andy says as much in the beginning of 2.
(Me: But then I always thought 2 was the weakest.)
Me: Okay, I was wrong. Claiming to be Andy's uncle and *using his real first name* is a stupid-ass decision driven by either narcissism or shitty planning. Also, this is the absolute LEAST stupid-ass thing Chucky has done.
(Me: Thank goodness the people at the foster-home agency do an even stupider-ass thing, *Charles*).
Me: OMG, son. Hijacking Andy's body is a time-sensitive operation. You don't have time for all of this maniacal laughter.
Me: I hate Andy's teacher, too, but killing random people is not the most efficient use of your time.
Chucky: FUCK I AM RUNNING OUT OF TIME TO HIJACK ANDY'S BODY AND CAN'T REACH THE CAR PEDALS.
Me: *points and laughs*
Chucky: *Floor* it!
Kyle: Get real. This is a station wagon.
(Me: How could I *ever* have thought 2 was the weakest??)
Chucky: *runs out of time to hijack Andy's body and blames his problems on an 8 year old like a responsible adult*
Chucky: *gets his ass handed to him in especially painful and humiliating fashion*
Chucky: OH GOD IT HURTS!
Me: OH GOD CHILD'S PLAY 2 IS THE BEST OF ALL OF THEM!
Chucky: I gotta get out of this goddamned body.
(Me: Did you just kill the only dude at the toy factory who thought rebuilding you was a good idea?)
Chucky: *dicks around killing people and indulging in evil laughter instead of getting out of this goddamned body*
Me: I swear to God, it's like he gets more impulsive and less able to manage his time in every movie.
Chucky: *spends so long laughing evilly that his hostage gets away*
Me: *reads on TVTropes that there's a Hack/Slash crossover implying that Chucky is in an And I Must Scream type of state whenever his body is destroyed.*
Me: *finally gets copy of Child's Play 1 to work*
Me: ...
Me: ...
Me: It's like he gets more impulsive and less able to manage his time in *every*--
Me: OH MY GOD I UNDERSTAND EVERYTHING NOW.
Me: CHUCKY IS TERRIFIED OF PUNISHMENT IN THE AFTERLIFE.
Me: AND HE KEEPS DYING.
Me: SO HE'S, LIKE, TRAUMATIZING HIMSELF REPEATEDLY.
Me: WHAT A DUMBASS.
Me: Man, if I could write a jailbreak I'd use that power to FIX ANDY BARCLAY'S LIFE BECAUSE GODDAMN.
Me: How to write Chucky, though? *ponders*
Me: Well, his love of killing and abject terror of dying/eternal punishment drive, like, all his stupid-ass decisions. Which really shouldn't have taken me half my life to figure out, since Andy says as much in the beginning of 2.
(Me: But then I always thought 2 was the weakest.)
Me: Okay, I was wrong. Claiming to be Andy's uncle and *using his real first name* is a stupid-ass decision driven by either narcissism or shitty planning. Also, this is the absolute LEAST stupid-ass thing Chucky has done.
(Me: Thank goodness the people at the foster-home agency do an even stupider-ass thing, *Charles*).
Me: OMG, son. Hijacking Andy's body is a time-sensitive operation. You don't have time for all of this maniacal laughter.
Me: I hate Andy's teacher, too, but killing random people is not the most efficient use of your time.
Chucky: FUCK I AM RUNNING OUT OF TIME TO HIJACK ANDY'S BODY AND CAN'T REACH THE CAR PEDALS.
Me: *points and laughs*
Chucky: *Floor* it!
Kyle: Get real. This is a station wagon.
(Me: How could I *ever* have thought 2 was the weakest??)
Chucky: *runs out of time to hijack Andy's body and blames his problems on an 8 year old like a responsible adult*
Chucky: *gets his ass handed to him in especially painful and humiliating fashion*
Chucky: OH GOD IT HURTS!
Me: OH GOD CHILD'S PLAY 2 IS THE BEST OF ALL OF THEM!
Chucky: I gotta get out of this goddamned body.
(Me: Did you just kill the only dude at the toy factory who thought rebuilding you was a good idea?)
Chucky: *dicks around killing people and indulging in evil laughter instead of getting out of this goddamned body*
Me: I swear to God, it's like he gets more impulsive and less able to manage his time in every movie.
Chucky: *spends so long laughing evilly that his hostage gets away*
Me: *reads on TVTropes that there's a Hack/Slash crossover implying that Chucky is in an And I Must Scream type of state whenever his body is destroyed.*
Me: *finally gets copy of Child's Play 1 to work*
Me: ...
Me: ...
Me: It's like he gets more impulsive and less able to manage his time in *every*--
Me: OH MY GOD I UNDERSTAND EVERYTHING NOW.
Me: CHUCKY IS TERRIFIED OF PUNISHMENT IN THE AFTERLIFE.
Me: AND HE KEEPS DYING.
Me: SO HE'S, LIKE, TRAUMATIZING HIMSELF REPEATEDLY.
Me: WHAT A DUMBASS.
